Obligatory parental post

Alex turns thirteen this week.

It’s been a weird adventure. And if you, too, feel deeply unqualified for adulthood, yet are inexplicably expected to help another human being navigate the world, you know exactly what I mean.

I can barely be counted on to return my library books on time, so how the hell they let me out of the hospital with a baby is anybody’s guess.

She’s turned out pretty awesome, though, even if I can’t imagine how. She’s hilarious, a fantastic writer and illustrator, and quite literally my favorite human.

And since I’m starting to get that urge to write out some overly-sentimental, saccharine missive on the now-lost pleasures of raising a tiny person, I’ll wrap this up with the one piece of advice I think is indispensable for expecting parents…

If someone gives you case of diapers and a six-pack of onesies for your baby shower, kiss that person full on the mouth.

With tongue.