Getting Crafty

The weather’s been a lot better since my last post. Well, mostly better. It was unbearably hot for a couple of days (with the thermometer on my porch hitting 100 degrees at one point), but I’d rather suffer a day or two of sweltering heat than another month of gray skies and rain.

Still haven’t done much of anything, though. I’ve been too caught up in either personal business (which I’ll write about sooner or later) or some projects which I’ve been meaning to get to.

Projects like learning how to make costumes and props out of craft foam.

See, my daughter has a habit of coming up with elaborate costume ideas for Halloween, and we both have interests which tend toward the geeky–interests which could be more effectively served if we knew how to make our own garb and implements to go with them.

So, I finally broke down and bought what amounts to a foam crafting starter kit. Cutting mat, utility knife, contact cement–the whole haul shown in the photo at right. And oh, ho, ho! I’m so not done shopping yet.

Anyway, if you’re wondering where I’ve been and what I’ll be doing until whenever I next update this thing, now you know the answer.

A Requiem for Amateur Radio

Electronics have always fascinated me. Not electronic gadgets themselves (those usually just irritate me), but the engineering and design behind them.

The how of their circuits, more than the what.

I took a very basic electronics course in high school, but until a few years ago, I hadn’t felt a need to really dig into circuit theory and understand how it all works.

And when that need struck, I decided the best “excuse” I could have to learn and practice this stuff, was to get an amateur or “ham” radio license.

There’s a huge number of ham radio enthusiasts who get their kicks from designing, building, and operating their own equipment. And there’s an equally-huge body of free or cheaply-obtained documentation and “HOW-TOs” out there, many of which will teach you the theory, and walk you through practical projects.

So, I studied up, took a couple of exams, and obtained my license. I also started hanging out with a local ham radio club filled with friendly and helpful people. Unfortunately, within a few months of obtaining my license, I learned there was a flaw in my plan: doing electronics, particularly radio-frequency stuff, is crazy expensive.

This sounds strange, at first, since if you search about online, you’ll see a plethora of detailed plans and parts lists for simple radios you can build for around five bucks worth of components. You can even get full-fledged kits with all the components and boards you need, starting at around fifteen bucks.

And that all sounds super cheap. The problem, though, is you need tools. Tools like a soldering iron. And an oscilloscope. Oh, and a spectrum analyzer would super helpful. Or you can use a fully-assembled, factory-built radio for testing.

Oh, you do have a well-lit, well-ventilated work area large enough to accommodate all of these things, don’t you?

As the months wore on, and I learned more and more about radio-frequency electronics, I also learned that those five dollar projects really only cost five dollars if you already had a twenty-thousand-dollar electronics lab.

So that sucked.

Still, I never really gave up thinking about it as a hobby. I kept it up on a high shelf of my mind, and every once and a while I’d take it down, dust it off, and see if there was a way to make it work. Then I’d put it back on the shelf for another day.

Now, though, I think it’s time to just pack it up and throw it in permanent storage. It’s an interest that might have made sense once, but I can’t see me doing anything at all with it now, even if I did have a spare $20,000 laying around.

Besides, given the luck I have with technology, I’d probably end up burning my house down anyway.

How To Weather Paper

Last week, I spent an entire morning baking paper in my oven.

See, I have an idea for a “concept photo” that I want to shoot (actually, I have many such ideas, but let’s not talk about that) and in order to pull it off I need to make a document that’s essentially been ruined, but in an interesting and “artistic” manner.

The problem: I had no idea how to go about such ruination. Or really any idea of how to make props at all.

So, I decided to start small, and focus on one piece of the puzzle: learning how to weather or age paper. Five hours of tutorials, tips, and trial and error later, I think I have a semi-decent handle on one method to do it.

In case you might be interested, here’s what I did, and how I did it.

Step 1 – Start with good paper

I went with Southworth’s “Premium 25% Cotton” inkjet and laser paper. I have an inkjet printer, so that much of my selection should be obvious. What’s more important, though, is that weathering paper means putting it through some serious abuse, so the paper you start with needs to durable.

We’re going for “looks ruined” and not “actually ruined.” You can get 250 sheets of this stuff for around ten bucks, and it held up well.

Step 2 – Make some tea

I did some tests with coffee, dirt, and muddy water, but tea gave me the best results by far. It’s a cliche for a reason—it works.

I used four Lipton black tea bags, because you can buy a box of a hundred for like three bucks. You’re not going to be drinking it, so go cheap. I tossed the tea bags into a cup and a half of boiling water, poked them around with a wooden spoon until they were soaked through, then turned off the heat and let them steep until everything had cooled down enough to handle.

I’ve heard various claims about what the temperature of the tea should be, but I didn’t notice any difference between hot tea and room temperature tea.

Step 3 – The soak

I squeezed out the teabags to retain their precious fluids, tossed them, then poured the results into this big glass baking dish I had laying around. Whatever you use, it has to be large enough so that your paper will lay down flat on the bottom.

Slip your first piece of paper into the dish of tea and carefully move it around. You want to make sure of two things: that the whole page is under the surface, and that there are no air bubbles under the paper.

Because I was experimenting, I soaked my paper for different amounts of time, ranging from two minutes to eight minutes. The longer it soaks, the darker it will get, obviously. However, the longer it soaks the more fragile it will get, particularly around the edges.

That can give you a bad time when you lay it out to bake.

Step 4 – The bake

Preheat your oven to 200 degrees if you’re an American, and 93.3333 degrees if you use Celsius. (Y’all must have some weird stove displays.)

Carefully take the paper out of the bath, shake off the excess as best you can (just so’s it doesn’t drip all over your work area), and lay it out on your baking sheet.

Small air bubbles under the paper are fine, creases and wrinkles are not. Creases and wrinkles will create harsh lines in the page once it’s done, which will probably ruin your day.

When your oven’s ready, stick the paper in it for 15 minutes.

Step 5 – Repeat the soak and bake

I got the best results with two “full” soaks and bakes, and one “edge” soak and bake. I’ll get to the edge soak in a second, but for now, just take your paper out of the oven and look at it. Too wrinkly and crinkly? Don’t worry, there’s a tip below to fix that. Just look at the color and pattern.

If it’s not dark or marbled/mottled enough, repeat steps three and four until it is. Then we’ll consider the edges.

Step 6 – Darken up the edges

As it ages, paper almost always gets darkest at its edges. So, we should make that happen. Do a quick, thirty second soak of the whole piece of paper, just to get it wet, then lay it down on the baking sheet.

Once down, use a paper towel to soak up some of the tea from the bath, and sprinkle/dab it just around the edges of the paper. Get a decent, thin bead of standing tea mixture on it, then carefully stick it back into the oven for another 15 minutes.

This will darken up the edge, and I think it gives a very nice effect. That said, it may take you a few tries to get the fade just right.

Tips/Tricks

That’s pretty much it, although there are a couple of other things you can try which may improve your results.

  • For a tattered or ragged edge, set up the paper as you would for an edge soak, but before putting it into the oven, worry the edge with a wooden toothpick. Work slow, taking tiny, tiny bites of the paper away from the edge to give it a subtle roughness, or go for big fat hunks for a chunkier look.
  • Paper too wrinkly for you? Iron it. Go ahead and crank up that iron to its hottest setting and give it a whirl. Just keep the iron moving, and do both sides of the paper a couple of times. Be careful, don’t set the paper or yourself on fire, and it’ll turn out fine.
  • If you need a single piece of weathered paper, plan on making four of them. You might get things perfect the first time, but don’t count on it. There’s a certain trick or art to this, and you’ll get the best results if you experiment, do multiple batches in parallel, and pick the best of the lot after all is said and done.

And lastly, a warning. Every one of my attempts to weather paper with inkjet printing on it have failed. The paper itself looked alright, but the print is far too crisp and resilient. It gave the whole thing an artificial look that just destroyed the aesthetic I was going for. You may have better mileage with pen and ink, but I haven’t tried that yet.

Look for a follow up post once I do.