It’s not meningitis (probably)

It’s Wednesday, so you know what that means. Time for another barely passable, list-ish “Wednesday Update” so I can maximize my weekly post count.

Because I’m all about value.

My neck is a poltergeist and my brain is the furniture.

I’ve had a nagging and vaguely disconcerting pain in my neck/shoulders/brainstem for a couple of weeks, now, and it doesn’t seem to want to stop. I’ve bought a new pillow, changed a bunch of posture-related habits, and performed a whole cheesy 80s workout video’s worth of stretches–nothing’s helped but what I’m guessing is a staggeringly unhealthy amount of store-brand Aleve. And even that hasn’t helped much.

So, I’m at the point where I should probably see a doctor about this, but also? Kinda don’t wanna.

I’ve been down the musculo-skeletal pain road so many times that I’m more than 80 percent sure the doctor’s going to tell me one or more of the following…

  1. Lose weight.
  2. Exercise more.
  3. Stop looking down at your phone so much.
  4. Here’s some Vicodin.

And I’m going to be like…

  1. Working on it.
  2. Working on it, too.
  3. Shut your filthy mouth, Luddite swine!
  4. No thanks. If we’re down to just masking the pain, I’ll choose cheap whiskey. It’s like homeopathy that works!

So, yeah. Probably just going to keep ignoring it, and hope I don’t end up like terrifying woman fromĀ Pet Sematary.

Winter might not suck so bad.

I talked with one of my mental health people about my winter fears, and got a mixture of advice and sympathy which quelled most of them. Among other things, though, she suggested I look into some sort of special table lamp you’re supposed to shine into your eyes, and that scares off the demons or something.

I’m paraphrasing.

Seriously, though, the light somehow resets your internal clock, or makes your brain think the weather’s awesome, or whatever. It sounds like it’s just a crystal shy of straight-up, whackadoodle pseudo-science, but if it’s cheap enough and being recommended to me by someone with an actual medical degree, who am I to argue? So, I looked it up, and saw that the cheapest one she recommended is $250.

I’m pretty sure it would be cheaper for me to just fly to a place where winter wasn’t a thing.

Serenity now!

Only partly-related to my winter suspicions, I’ve resumed some meditation and concentration practices I was doing earlier this year. At this stage, it’s mainly just taking fifteen minutes a day to mellow the hell out, as well as making a conscious effort throughout the day to focus on my real priorities.

I’m still vague-posting a bit, here, because I’m not sure I want to get into anything that the general population typically considers “spiritual” or “religious” in nature. This blog’s focus is hazy enough as it is.

Suffice it to say, I’m doing reasonably well mentally.

I just wish my body felt the same way.

Wednesday Wupdate

It’s Wednesday again, so let’s continue the tradition of me hurling a bunch of gibberish at you about how my week’s been going. Think of these Wednesday updates like the “merchandising” restaurants do, where instead of throwing out their old, gamy food and taking a loss, they turn it into the “Chef’s Surprise” special.

Only instead of suspicious seafood, it’s my life.

That Instagram thing is going well.

“Broken and Beautiful.” I took this photo last week while walking through a local park.

I’ve somehow made it to three thousand followers on Instagram. That’s…really awesome. People seem to like my stuff, I’m often one of the “Top Posts” for my town and many of the hashtags I toss my stuff in–it’s cool. And to be honest, I kinda needed something like this to happen.

I hear a lot of artists rattle off the line “create art for yourself, don’t worry about what other people think,” but I’ve yet to personally meet any artist who isn’t secretly a needy little victim of impostor syndrome who desperately craves the approval of others. Myself included. I don’t need much, but I do need a little love from people who aren’t related to me before I can mentally say: “Okay, I am actually kinda good at this.”

Alex is a teenager today.

I foreshadowed this on Monday, but my daughter turns thirteen today.

It’s kind of freaking me out.

Changing priorities.

Despite the sleep and family health issues last month, things have generally been going well. There is the looming threat of winter and how that’s going to affect my mental health (I have a post about this sitting in my Drafts folder that I’m hoping to get out soon), but overall? I think I’m in a better place today than I’ve been in quite some time.

Which means that I’m starting to re-evaluate some of my priorities. Projects I’ve had kicking around, things I’ve been “meaning to do,” habits I’ve wanted to change–now that I no longer need to just live day to day, I’m taking some time to organize and plan.

If this smells a little like vague-posting, it’s because it is. Even I’m not sure what “organize and plan” means here, or which “priorities” I’m really talking about. I just know that I’m staring down the barrel of some hard choices as to what I’m going to focus on, versus what I’m going to kick to the curb once and for all.

Once I figure out which is which, I’ll let you know.